lipur lara c.ya

 Assalamualaikum hi everyone! think this is my first entry of the year (or second- ntah malas nak gi check lol) anywaysssss... as the title suggested, I'm a 26 year-old-woman already guys! hihi. and I'm feeling a bit creative about the title, yknow, 26 is an even number but I said odd. see? you'll see why hahahaha. a bit late to be celebrating here but I wanna write something to commemorate this. btw I'm listening to Hana by Fujii Kaze (my daily anthem for now). and indeed, being 26 is usual and normal- except a bit odd. why? because it's too usual and normal, like nothing's really changing. sometimes in a good way, sometimes not much. and even in this 26 years of life, I'm still learning on how to truly know myself and life. the thing about unchanging part is, I still feel like a little girl- who is still being scolded by her abah for her indecisive behaviour, who still needed opinions and help from her umi on certain things- even trivial ones, who still pr

  Assalamualaikum and holaaa! This entry might be a bit depressing but well, life's just that sometimes hahaha. So last Tuesday, 14th November 2023, I've got into a car accident, which is my first time getting into a quite 'teruk' one. But yes, I lived. But the aftermath of the incident was so painful sometimes it makes me think, maybe I should've just gone forever that day. Maybe the pain won't be so unbearable if I just went to sleep and never woke up. But here we are. Tuhan masih memberi peluang untuk saya bertaubat dan beramal hari ini, but how I wish it was that easy to be grateful and keep living. Every night I tried to close my eyes, wishing I could forget everything, wishing it was all just a dream, but the pain in my every bones kept reminding me that it's not. And everytime I close my eyes, I'm back in the car on that Tuesday. The only way I could sleep is by crying so I cried and cried till I tire myself out and unconciously drift away. Then o

  "when the snow falls, would my blue-bruised heart get covered in white? i'm sorry i didn't treat you well. that Christmas, i was only filled with regrets" The First Snow, EXO. Assalamualaikum salam sejahtera! I guess this entry would be made public (or not- I'm still thinking hahaha). Anyway, this is actually my second entry of the year, but I drafted the first one sebab cringey dooh pula penulisannya lol. I wrote it last April in which time, my heart was filled with loneliness yet all at the same time; hope. But now that I can think better, ughh apa benda la aku tulis time tu hahaha. Let it be history ig. Now, moving on to today's topic! I was looking for high school pictures the whole day today sebab tiba-tiba tertengok prompt ig ramai duk post gambar sekolah menengah. Then, tengah browse all kinds of ancient embarrassing pictures, of course all the memories come along and to my surprise, I don't really like reminiscing my high-school memories. hahaha.

It's almost 3 in the morning now, finished our badminton session at 12 and lepak-lepak then went home by 2. Well-- whilst in the shower just now, I felt that I had to get these words down somewhere, hence, here we are. First and foremost, I'm right now taking an Insta-break, hehe (like someone I know), cause I felt it's much necessary for the mind. The main purpose of Insta for me is to share happy (sometimes sad but mostly happy) moments, with hope that everyone seeing could also feel the same happiness. Yet, since last week, it's been agonizing to view my friends' lives update in a joyful manner. When I felt such way, then the main reason of me having social media has gone. Selfishly, I felt some of their happiness was painful for me. The feelings of why can't I be like this, like that yada yada and so on emerges. Realizing I can no longer share the same happiness with them, it's best if I take a break. Maybe only for a while, cause I already feel a bit be

I've always had a funny but some kind amazing thoughts in the morning :) Few days ago I woke up and thought if I'm not married by 30 I'm going to open my own book cafe hihihi. Soooo nice. Of course it's a silly dream to think now, but who knows right? Imma open one with this kind of vibe; aaahhh it's nice to have dreams and imagine we can achieve anything in the world. now let's talk about some life updates hehe. I'm all over the place nowadays. Some days are bearable, while others are excruciating and painful. It's not something I would share in here but after one 'incident' last August, my life hasn't been the same since. It's hard to be truly happy anymore. Let's just say the thing changed me whole internally. In the midst of all possibilities, though I doubt I'll ever forget, I hope to heal from it. Even a fracture of me. Anyways, let's talk about something cheerful. Well, for one, I've found every small and simple thi

  Life has been too good now that I'm scared it's not real :') anyways- currently listening to Nostalgia, a piano instrumental by Smyang Piano. Assalamualaikum and hello! it's the second day of July and since we began school after Raya that day, I felt life has been sooo incredibly amazing. We've been so busy with sukan right now and maybe that's why I felt happier, skipping classes and teachings HAHAHAHA. That day right after naik lepas cuti raya terus latihan rumah sukan for about two weeks and minggu ketiga terus sukan sekolah. Then, habis aje sukan terus sambung MSSD for every sports;, starting with volleyball, then handball, netball, chess, olahraga, serta more to come. Semua lepas gian sebab 2 tahun tak ada sukan asbab PKP kan. And one more thing after sukan ni I've grown much much closer with the Year 6 kids, for which my days in school had been more entertaining than ever XD. they're so much fun to hang around and adaaa aje helah diorang that mad

  Assalamualaikum and hello from the other side XD while writing this piece I'm currently listening to this song; Don't Text Me Youre Drunk. preserving this moment as always and this song deserves to be put here, it's definitely my jam hahaha. Now, here we are, after quite some time. it's April 16 and I'm entering my third month being a teacher here in Johor. and the rumors are all true after all, Johor really is a busy one. I felt we did more 'clerky' work more than we teach lmao. what a system. so annoying, but Alhamdulillah, right now it's not yet unbearable for me. I still can handle everything well so far and not that stressed or depressed yet. haha. hoping it'll last, InsyaAllah, moga-moga. Now I actually got a story to tell, we're in Ramadhan now, and it's been a blessing, having to fast for the first time in a new place, after so long. and I'm grateful for eveything, the food, the mosque, oh the beautiful mosque. and comfortable,

  Assalamualaikum! I've been thinking of updating since last December , masyaAllah now dah almost mid January hahaha. anyway, I think it's not too late to wish you all Happiest New Year!! Moga resolusi-resolusi tahun ini buat kalian, jiwa-jiwa yang sedang berusaha, kesemuanya dipermudahkan Tuhan dan dijamin kesuksesannya HAHAHAHA idek what I'm saying but yknow what I mean right. Last year maybe one of the most meaningful years I've ever had in my whole life. Tahun saya berjaya grad, tahun pkp kedua yg mengajar saya lebih banyak mengenal diri sendiri, physical and mentally, and one of my fav but saddest moments- watching my one and only kakak diijab kabul sekaligus welcoming a new member of the family. Then antara my fav moments juga was when I know my posting result. hahahaha the moment I knew the result, my feelings were as neutral as possible. Check kat website JPN Johor tu keluar result, I felt nothing. nak kata happy sangat tak jugak, sedih? kecewa? not at all. mayb

updating my feature post! hehehe. well from this date— 23/12/21, I’m no longer using song titles as my entry’s header but I’ll put whatever thing that comes to mind as I’m writing it :) that’s all lols 😂  ENJOY! ❤️

salam sayang semuaaa! aaaand the day has come again! my favourite day and date of all year - september 22nd! (it's tomorrow but lemme give myself an advanced birthday wish hehe) I don't know if it's merely because it's my birthday, but ive always loved the date; 22/9, 22 September. the date itself I found beautiful, don't even know why but yeah... hehehe. maybe that's why my favourite number is 22. plus, I think it's also the most perfect time of the year, to be happy, to be celebrating. usually the rainy season is about to start, mid September, or early October. hence I've always felt it was a great time. a time where it's not too warm, nor too cold. just nice. I actually had no idea what to write hahaha but I want to write something. keeping this date as a memory as tomorrow's also the start of our interview session (SPP). nerve-wrecking. alright, let's try to write something. short, sweet and simple. tomorrow ill be 23. hm. 23. long way to

  Noor had always despised the person or people who invented the idea or speculation of ‘daughters would have closer relationship to the Dad, while sons would usually be closer to the Mom’. When Noor was seven, she confirmed herself that the statement was idiotically wrong and far from reality. At least in her reality.           Ever since she was a child, Noor has always felt that she was the unexpected, unwanted presence in their household. She shouldn’t have been there. She shouldn’t have been born. The only thing that sometimes would temporarily soothe her worries would be a hug from Aidil or a playful pinch on the cheek from Fahri, her older twin brothers. But it was momentarily, for every time she had to interact with her Baba, the burdening feelings of being unwanted came back, flooding in her thoughts and drowning her breathless in anxiety.           With Ami, it was bearable, she knew her Ami loves her, but still, not as much as Ami loves her brothers. Yet, it was much tolerab

  That day when we decided on a staycation after our graduation, I never would have imagined he would also be there. Don’t get me wrong. He’s always been a part of the group and after all that happened between us, he’s still a dear friend. Maybe a little bit too ‘deary’ for me. I mean- we were just fine and everything… was normal. But anyway, here we are. Sitting right across each other. So close yet so far. We all know that he's right now seeing someone and he seems genuinely happy. From what we all see, the girl's great. Passionate and loving. In every aspect, she's so much better than me. And I'm happy for him too. Well- that's what I've been trying to tell myself over and over and that's also what everyone perceives from seeing us so okay. God knows what I had to go through to put up with the whole thing. Oh God. I should stop. They were in love, they were happy! So get a grip and be happy for them, you stupid self! Anyway, what’s going on right now is,

so today I watched two anime movies and no books update wahahaha maleh nak membaca. I watched the wolf children at 4 in the morning gituh then watched bakemono no ko in the evening. so--- yeeah. well- overall both movies were amazing and I love every bit of them. let me talk about Bakemono no Ko (2015) first cause it's the most recent ive watched. a bit summary; Ren just lost his mom and his dad was nowhere to be found. he supposedly had to stay with his relatives which are all jerks so he didnt want to, so he ran away. so basically he was living around the city without any money, then one day he bumped into Kumatetsu, a beast with wolf face. so Kumatetsu was like this reckless person and is trying to be a grandmaster of beast world, with Iozan as his opponent, but Kumatetsu didnt have any successor or disciple so he took Ren in, and called him Kyuuta (in beast world Ren is Kyuuta). then after 8 years, Kyuuta became a grown up and one day he went into the real world and met Kaede.

  "Into the Forest of Firefly Lights" (2011) (Anime) I have to talk about this one. OMGGGG I think I had watched this once when I was younger but of course I forgot already. and i just rewatched it this evening and it's saaaddd brooooo. it's quite sad but predictable and short but veryyy meaningful. it's actually also adapted to live-action but im talking about the anime guys! omg. as always, many anime movies are good enough that it would take some time for me to recover from it aaghhh and this one is definitely one of them. genre; romance fantasy gitu. my favourite genre! fantasy. uhuks. anywayyy a bit summary; Hotaru got lost in an enchanted forest and met Gin, the 'spirit' of the forest and Gin helped her find her way out and from then, they became friends. and soon enough, Hotaru grew up and they developed feelings for each other. OH a very important part of the story; Gin CANNOT be touched by human as if he did, he would disappear forever. so all the