26 is an odd number

 Assalamualaikum hi everyone! think this is my first entry of the year (or second- ntah malas nak gi check lol) anywaysssss... as the title suggested, I'm a 26 year-old-woman already guys! hihi. and I'm feeling a bit creative about the title, yknow, 26 is an even number but I said odd. see? you'll see why hahahaha. a bit late to be celebrating here but I wanna write something to commemorate this. btw I'm listening to Hana by Fujii Kaze (my daily anthem for now).

and indeed, being 26 is usual and normal- except a bit odd. why? because it's too usual and normal, like nothing's really changing. sometimes in a good way, sometimes not much. and even in this 26 years of life, I'm still learning on how to truly know myself and life. the thing about unchanging part is, I still feel like a little girl- who is still being scolded by her abah for her indecisive behaviour, who still needed opinions and help from her umi on certain things- even trivial ones, who still procrastinate all the time and lacking sense of responsibility (I'm trying to improve I PROMISE). well, there's that. basically I'm still dumb as always lmaoo. dumb, but free *wink*.

and the thing I hate about being older is, you would find something new to complain about almost every single day. and your body doesn't cooperate or hold pain as much as it did in the past and you'll feel like a grandma every time you hit more than a 3 floor stairs. damn. hahahaha. and in terms of personal love life, I'm content with how things were right now. this year is not a great one (yet) to be committing to a meaningful relationship because it's dissappointment every time yall I'm telling ya, just when you thought in this age you'll find men who's, my least expectation is: matured and responsible, yet... *sigh* turns out the biggest joke out of all.... lollll. anyways... thank you, next haha.

BUT looking at the bright side; it's a good learning process. I actually know better about my own self after everything. and even after, it's best to just take it easy and not rush into things. so yeah, after all, 26 is an odd number. you feel old but not that old, yet at the same time, you also feel you have all the time in the world.

everyday is a learning day, and one more thing I realized about myself is- I no longer have the energy to be hating and holding grudge towards others. even at work when things don't work out with certain colleagues, I'd rather back off and try to avoid conflict as much as possible. but you'll also realize that there are some people who's willing to hate others just for the simplest thing. like bro- chill. how'd you have that kind of spirit to do that? I mean- it takes some sort of energy to be hating guys. it's rather comforting to act dumb and ignore unnecessary drama hahaha.

think that's all for tonight. this is quite long considering my initial thoughts wasn't like this at all haha. I'll see you next time!

One of my fav webtoons I reread the other day: Super Secret. SO GOOD!