Hye...!!!

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Hei, everybdy!!!! I'm still new in this kind of blogger... So, I hope I can fit myself well immediately.... Wish Me Luck...!!!

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26 is an odd number

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 Assalamualaikum hi everyone! think this is my first entry of the year (or second- ntah malas nak gi check lol) anywaysssss... as the title suggested, I'm a 26 year-old-woman already guys! hihi. and I'm feeling a bit creative about the title, yknow, 26 is an even number but I said odd. see? you'll see why hahahaha. a bit late to be celebrating here but I wanna write something to commemorate this. btw I'm listening to Hana by Fujii Kaze (my daily anthem for now). and indeed, being 26 is usual and normal- except a bit odd. why? because it's too usual and normal, like nothing's really changing. sometimes in a good way, sometimes not much. and even in this 26 years of life, I'm still learning on how to truly know myself and life. the thing about unchanging part is, I still feel like a little girl- who is still being scolded by her abah for her indecisive behaviour, who still needed opinions and help from her umi on certain things- even trivial ones, who still pr...
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to learn to live on your own

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  Assalamualaikum and holaaa! This entry might be a bit depressing but well, life's just that sometimes hahaha. So last Tuesday, 14th November 2023, I've got into a car accident, which is my first time getting into a quite 'teruk' one. But yes, I lived. But the aftermath of the incident was so painful sometimes it makes me think, maybe I should've just gone forever that day. Maybe the pain won't be so unbearable if I just went to sleep and never woke up. But here we are. Tuhan masih memberi peluang untuk saya bertaubat dan beramal hari ini, but how I wish it was that easy to be grateful and keep living. Every night I tried to close my eyes, wishing I could forget everything, wishing it was all just a dream, but the pain in my every bones kept reminding me that it's not. And everytime I close my eyes, I'm back in the car on that Tuesday. The only way I could sleep is by crying so I cried and cried till I tire myself out and unconciously drift away. Then o...
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if you ever got tired of life

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  "Because that moon looked lonely Because it looked like it’s crying bright in the night sky," Still With You, JK. Assalamualaikum salam sejahtera! My first thought when coming up with the title was-- if you ever got tired of life, remember there's 'still with you' by JK. the song will make you happy? no, it'll make you a lot sadder than you originally is but it's a great song maybe you won't be tired as much. lol. anyway, moving on... I always had so many ideas on what to write when I'm in the shower or eating or anywhere else. bila bukak je laptop in front of the keyboard terus blank. so frustrating but please bear with me. A bit of disclaimer: I'm not good at this (this blogging thing), I'm never good at it, there's a whole bunch of other people with better writing or storytelling skills than me, I simply just like doing it. It's a hobby, so I don't have to be good at it, right? Just enjoying it because why not, yes? hehe. A...
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book #1 "the ones who walk away from omelas"

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  yupp...so for my book review 'project', I decided to put the title as my post entry, so it'll be easier for me to track hehehe. but for the song im listening to right now, it's "heart attack" demi lovato. alright let's not waste time and go straight to my book review. this time, it's The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas by Ursula K. Le Guin. this one is just a short story, not a novel but it's very good. oh before that. a bit disclaimer; i had read the story like a very long time ago so maybe there are things i mentioned that wouldnt be accurate but im pretty sure the gist of the story is still clear in my mind. so apologies in advance :) this book, is actually quite dark. a story of people in a village / city of Omelas whose happiness depends on the misery of a child. in order to live a prosperous life, they did it as a tradition to lock a child in some kind of closet. kind of a psycho ritual (if you ask me) but they believed that was the reason f...
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to life without regrets

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  "when the snow falls, would my blue-bruised heart get covered in white? i'm sorry i didn't treat you well. that Christmas, i was only filled with regrets" The First Snow, EXO. Assalamualaikum salam sejahtera! I guess this entry would be made public (or not- I'm still thinking hahaha). Anyway, this is actually my second entry of the year, but I drafted the first one sebab cringey dooh pula penulisannya lol. I wrote it last April in which time, my heart was filled with loneliness yet all at the same time; hope. But now that I can think better, ughh apa benda la aku tulis time tu hahaha. Let it be history ig. Now, moving on to today's topic! I was looking for high school pictures the whole day today sebab tiba-tiba tertengok prompt ig ramai duk post gambar sekolah menengah. Then, tengah browse all kinds of ancient embarrassing pictures, of course all the memories come along and to my surprise, I don't really like reminiscing my high-school memories. hahaha....
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